


Lesty’s Clippers

by waveydnp



Series: 2020 charity fics [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, Haircuts, M/M, Quarantine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:06:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24461017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waveydnp/pseuds/waveydnp
Summary: dan reacts to phil’s exceptionally bad quarantine self-haircut
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Series: 2020 charity fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1766818
Comments: 22
Kudos: 209





	Lesty’s Clippers

“Let me in.”

Dan is stood outside the bathroom door, fist wrapped around the handle. He keeps trying to turn it like it’ll magically unlock itself.

Phil’s voice is gruff in its response. “Hell no.”

“Phil, come on.”

“Absolutely not.”

“It can’t be that bad.” He’s not sure he believes that, but he knows how hard hair changes are for Phil, even when he puts on a show like they aren’t. He’s committed to downplaying whatever monstrosity currently resides on his boyfriend’s head. 

“It can,” Phil says miserably. “And it is.”

“Let me see.”

“You’re going to freak out. Maybe even more than I’m freaking out.”

“I won’t.”

“You will.”

Dan presses his forehead against the door. “Babe, I literally promise you I will not freak out.”

“No. Don’t. I’m not gonna let you make a promise I know for a fact you can’t keep.”

“It can’t possibly be that bad. You had professional tools.”

“Tools are only as good as the hands using them.”

Dan laughs. “That sounds like a Kath phrase.”

“It is.”

“You know I’m going to have to see it eventually.”

“No you’re not. I’m going to live in here until it all grows back.”

“Is it super short?”

Phil makes a grunting sound. “Only in some places.”

“Oh god, Phil.”

“I should’ve listened to you,” Phil says. His voice has gone much quieter. “I should’ve just left it.”

“Hair grows back. Yours grows like a fucking horse, anyway.” He jiggles the door handle. “Let me _in_ , Phil.”

Phil sighs, long and deep. “If you laugh, I’ll put a curse on your entire freaking family.”

“I’ll be sure to laugh, then.”

There’s a thump on the other side of the door. “Dan!”

“Open the door and show me your head or I’m going to go to the kitchen and eat all the marshmallows you’ve got stashed behind the mugs.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Try me, Lester.”

There’s more grumbling, but finally the door handle moves under Dan’s palm. He lifts his hand and steels himself, his heart beating a little faster in nervous anticipation.

Phil opens the door slowly, and honestly, the first thing Dan registers isn’t the hair but the look on Phil’s face. 

He’s really not happy, then. It wasn’t just over exaggeration. 

“Don’t laugh,” he reminds Dan.

“It’s not that—” 

He’s stopped himself, because Phil’s just turned his head to the side and— yeah. It’s bad.

Dan’s hand drifts up to his mouth, the tips of his fingers pressing against his lips. “Phil,” he murmurs.

“I know.”

He reaches out to rub the haphazardly buzzed hair above Phil’s right ear. There are a few strands that are still inexplicably long. “What did you do?”

“I did a shite job cutting my hair, that’s what.”

Dan can’t help touching Phil’s head all over. He runs his fingers through the quiff, which is mercifully still mostly intact, then pushes to the back of Phil’s head. “Oh my god.”

“It’s bad at the back too?” Phil demands, voice pitching up with a hint of impending hysteria.

“Um.” Dan can feel a patch in the middle that’s almost a buzz cut, and above it strands that are still long and silky. “I’m sorry, but yeah. Yeah, it feels bad.”

Phil covers his face with his hands. “I don’t know why I thought I could do it.”

“Because,” Dan says as gently as he can manage. “You’re a fucking hurricane.”

Phil groans. Dan pulls him in close and wraps him up in a hug. “You have a bad haircut. It’s not the end of the world.”

“Can you fix it?” Phil mutters into Dan’s shoulder.

“Um. I can try.” He turns his head and presses a kiss to Phil’s temple. He rubs his hand against the buzzed bit at the back and suddenly he can’t stop himself laughing. It’s just such a fucking Phil thing to do, diving headfirst into something he’s completely ill equipped for and expecting it to turn out as anything but a disaster.

Phil bites into Dan’s shoulder. “You dick, you promised!”

“Did you take the clippers to the back without even looking.”

“... Yes,” Phil says sheepishly.

“You’re such a fucking idiot, Phil.”

“Yeah. I know.” He bites Dan’s shoulder again. “At least it’ll be a good video.”


End file.
